In neurodiverse relationships, one of the biggest challenges is truly processing the differences. Discovering the differences can have a significant impact on some, it finally explains what’s been happening. We are now aware of the differences, but we truly haven’t processed it. Operating within our current framework, there is no way to process their behaviors, actions, or words. That still leaves us scratching our heads on the daily, wondering why they do this or that. It just doesn't sink in the way it needs to in order to create lasting change.
Imagine a scenario where someone from a vastly different culture visits your home. They might unknowingly do things that are considered offensive in your culture. Because we can clearly see their different cultural background and language, we view their behaviors as unintentional. We gently explain the cultural norms and do not take offense.
However, in neurodiverse relationships, we tend to come from the same cultural background as our loved ones. This leads us to mistakenly dismiss the very real "brain culture" differences that exist between the different BTG brain types. These differences are invisible, which makes them harder to acknowledge and address.
Let's consider an example of a cultural clash: Imagine you host a student from China in your home. In their culture, slurping soup is a sign of appreciation, burping is also considered a compliment to the chef. However, in many Western cultures, this behavior is considered rude. If you didn't know about this cultural difference, you might find their behavior irritating or disrespectful. However, knowing their cultural background allows you to understand that their actions are not intended to be offensive. You can then gently explain your cultural norms without taking offense.
In neurodiverse relationships, the differences in "brain culture" are just as significant, but they are hidden. You probably have said a million times, "It's like we're speaking different languages," or "It's like we're from different worlds," yet you keep repeating the same actions, expecting different results. It's no wonder we're all going crazy out here. You KNOW they are different, yet you can't seem to align the expectations you have of them.
If you are simply convinced that they are just a "rude {insert your brain type}" instead of understanding that they come from a different "brain culture," you will find all their behaviors to be rude, unwilling, inconsiderate, and hurtful. Shifting your perspective can transform behaviors that were previously viewed as malicious into something more benign.
The shift in understanding just gets you on the gameboard.
Once you make this shift, your genuine empathy and concern to help them learn the "brain culture" shines through, and you become a credible guide. With this credibility, you can open them to a whole new world as you introduce the BTG tools.
Consider the profound impact of this shift in perspective. By acknowledging the invisible "brain culture" differences, you pave the way for understanding and empathy. This, in turn, fosters genuine connection and opens the door to effective communication. You become not just a partner but a guide, helping your loved one navigate and understand a world that is different from their own.
Embrace the challenge of neurodiverse relationships as an opportunity to learn and grow together. By recognizing and respecting the invisible cultural differences in "brain culture," you can build a stronger, more empathetic connection with your loved ones. The journey may be challenging, but with the right tools and perspective, it can also be incredibly rewarding.
Comment "I love someone with a “foreign brain” if you have a loved one with a different brain type than you!
Like this post if you believe in the power of understanding and empathy to bridge the gap between different "brain cultures."
Share this post to help spread awareness about the invisible cultural clashes that affect so many of us.
Together, we can foster deeper connections and create lasting change!
Comments