Lessons I’ve Learned from Reformer Pilates… and What They Taught Me About BTG

My mom’s been doing Reformer Pilates for years. She’s 60, strong as ever, and clearly living her best life in her core-powered glow-up era.

For years, she tried to get me to go.I resisted.

Because… obviously. I had other things to do—like running a neurodiverse startup with four kids and pretending stretching isn’t a workout.

But eventually, she dragged me to a class. And let me tell you…

I. Was. Not. Ready.

Here are the 6 biggest things I learned in that first class:

1. I have muscles I never knew I had.

Three days later, I was at peak soreness.If my ears had muscles, they’d have been sore.These weren’t just tired muscles—they were newly awakened, never-before-targeted, “Hello, who gave you permission to move?” muscles.

2. “This is too easy… it can’t possibly be doing anything.”

Until it was. One minute I’m lying there, pushing a bar, thinking, “What’s the big deal?”The next? Shaking like a wind chime in a hurricane.

Try this combo:

• Heels together

• Toes apart

• Squeeze a squishy ball between your thighs

• While doing slow, controlled hip thrusts

• All on a spring-loaded machine.

That thing humbled me fast.

3. The form matters the most.

The instructor kept walking around adjusting people’s feet, saying:“Don’t add weight. Control the movement. Fix your alignment.”

More weight didn’t mean more benefit.Slower movement with proper form did.

4. Muscle vs. Momentum

In Pilates, my legs were in straps.I could’ve let gravity move the machine, but that’s momentum.The challenge was resisting the urge to “cheat” and moving with precision.

That’s what activates the real muscles.That’s where the strength gets built.

Sean and I talked about this last year—how exhaustion hits different when you're actually using muscle vs. just flinging yourself forward with momentum.

I used to hurl myself up the stairs. Now? I take each step intentionally, building strength with control.

5. You have to actually do it.

You can’t just lay there and expect results. You don’t get stronger by being near the equipment. By watching other people do it. You have to engage. Move. Participate.

6. You’re not going to fix it all in one class.

If it took months, years, or a lifetime of doing things wrong to get to this point, one class isn’t going to undo all that.

Before I learned to use my Baby Steps Box, subconsciously I felt the urgency if fixing it all RIGHT NOW. “I needed to be at my goal weight like YESTERDAY.”

But that’s not my job AND it’s impossible. But it doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the journey. I’ve been saying for about 6 years now. “My body is a limited edition, it’s only in town for a couple of weeks.” Because its true. But my brain likes to slip into the “I’m never going to get there” or “This moment is forever” mentality. It’s not true. I can and I will get there. This is a moment in time. My job is to show up consistently. To move my body so it can do what it’s meant to do.

So what does all this have to do with BTG?

Glad you asked.

BTG is a workout. For your brain.

And just like Pilates, it’s not about how hard you push. It’s about how intentionally you move.

Let’s break it down:

1. You have neural networks you didn’t even know existed.

Just like those hidden stabilizer muscles that light up in Pilates, your brain has entire neural networks that have been boxed off, neglected, or hijacked by survival mode. (CDR).

BTG targets those networks. Gently. Intentionally. On purpose. And yeah—sometimes it’s uncomfortable at first. But discomfort is a sign you're activating something that was asleep.

That’s growth. That’s change. That’s strength being built.

2. The framework seems too simple.

Black Box. White Box. Add Color.

At first glance, you might think:“Wait… that’s it?”

Yes. That’s it. It is that simple.But it’s not easy.

Try printing a worksheet.Try using it in the moment before snapping at your partner. Try filling it out while dysregulated or exhausted. When you want to just strangle your partner. When you want to say "IT'S NOT WIRING, YOU'RE JUST A JERK!"

That “simple” framework suddenly feels like trying to do slow hip thrusts on a wobble board.

BTG isn't just something to understand. It’s something to implement. Daily. On paper. Out loud. On your fridge. In your actual life.

And the worksheets? Yeah, they’re simple too. But using them correctly and consistently? That’s the real workout.

You don’t earn strength by “getting it” in theory. You earn it through repetition. And resistance.

3. The worksheets are the form.

Think of them like alignment cues in Pilates.

They’re not busywork.They’re the correct motion your brain needs to re-learn.

If your mental “form” is off, your brain compensates—leaning into old loops, toxic logic, emotional spirals, or burnout patterns.

But if you slow down, walk through the worksheet, and focus on the form, you train your brain to process differently.

Eventually? The form becomes muscle memory. Automatic.

You’ll start catching yourself:

• Mid-trigger

• Mid-pattern

• Mid-reactive spiral

And instead of defaulting to chaos…You’ll pause and say, “Wait. I know what’s happening. I recognize what box I am in, what box THEY'RE in..."

That’s not magic.That’s neural engineering. And the worksheet is your training mat.

Tip: It's hard to remember all the little things that tripped you up when you're not dealing with them anymore. JOURNAL EVERYTHING!

4. Don’t rely on momentum for your BTG journey.

Discovery phase hype is real. People get excited and want to change everything overnight. They send articles to their partner, start ten worksheets at once, over-explain BTG to their kids, their spouse, the mailman...

Then they crash. Hard.

Because hype is momentum. But change is muscle.

You can’t force your way through transformation. You have to build it—slowly, sustainably, with consistency and control.

5. You have to actually do it.

Reading about BTG doesn’t change your brain.Watching your partner do the worksheet won’t rewire your nervous system.Understanding the Boxes doesn’t earn you emotional regulation.

You have to do it.

Not in your head. Not “later.”Not after the chaos settles.

Even when you're tired, mad, scared, or unsure.

Because that’s when you need it the most.

(Note: Do NOT use Communication Companions in the red or black.)

6. You’re not going to fix it all right now.

Yes—BTG can bring instant relief.That click moment. That spark of clarity that makes you feel like, “FINALLY. Something that actually makes sense.”But full transformation?That takes repetition. Not revelation.

Before BTG, you really were stuck. You weren’t crazy. You weren’t broken. You were stranded in the chasm we call “the impossible.” Endless loops. No traction. No map. No tools.

But now you’ve got a map. And tools. And scaffolding. But you’re still not going to rebuild the whole house in one night.

If it took years—or a lifetime—of emotional misfires, unspoken needs, and processing gaps to get here…One worksheet isn’t going to repair it all. One “aha” moment won’t undo the survival patterns in your relationship.

And when your brain tries to convince you,“It’s never going to get better.” Or your heart screams,“This moment is forever—this pain is permanent—this dynamic will never change,”—pause.

That’s a lie.

This is a limited edition version of you. Of them. Of your relationship. It’s evolving—even when you can’t see it yet. ONLY when you involve BTG (and God, if I am blunt. #sorrynotsorry)

Your job isn’t to fix the whole mess today. Your job is to show up consistently. To give your brain a new pattern to walk. To let your relationship breathe in structure instead of spinning in panic.

You can and will get there. But right now?This is just one rep in a much bigger training plan. So don’t throw the whole thing out because it still hurts.

Keep going. It’s working.

Breakthroughs don’t change you. Habits do.

Revelation is that "aha!" moment—when something clicks, makes perfect sense, and suddenly you feel hope again. It’s powerful, validating, and absolutely part of the journey.

But revelation alone doesn’t rewire your brain. Repetition does.

You can have all the insight in the world, but if you don’t walk it out—again and again—your brain won’t build the new default.

Our first breakthrough was amazing. But applying what we knew, like our lives depended on it, was LIFE CHANGING. And no, I didn't have anyone coaching me, reminding me it works. We had to develop, discover, through trial and error. We set out to PROVE it works. To see how it applies in all sorts of situations.

Think of it like this:

• Revelation = Finding the map.

• Repetition = Walking the path, step by step, until it becomes second nature.

That’s why you can have a lightbulb moment during a conversation or worksheet... but still fall back into old patterns the next day. Your brain understood the concept, but it hasn’t practiced it enough to make it stick. If your “Boxes” are sitting on the floor of your brain. They’re NOT plugged in and doing their job.

So when we say "BTG rewires the brain through repetition, not revelation," we’re reminding you:

Don’t just chase the next insight. Practice the last one until it becomes automatic.

That’s how transformation happens—one rep at a time.

So now what?

You don’t need another podcast. You don’t need another saved reel you’ll never watch. You need a place to show up, ask your real-life questions, and get real-time tools you can actually use.

That’s what BTG Office Hours is for.

It’s not coaching. It’s not therapy. It’s guided neural engineering with the people who built the map.

You bring the mess.We walk you through it—one worksheet, one Box, one rep at a time.

If you’re tired of breakthroughs that fade...If you want help turning revelation into repetition...If you’re ready to stop spiraling and start building—

👉 Join Office Hours. (Use coupon code "OFFICEHOURS64" to get it for $64 dollars a MONTH. Thats 2$ an HOUR! INSANE!)

Ask your questions. Watch others get answers to the exact thing you didn’t know how to name. Train your brain. Transform your relationships. All for less than what most people spend on snacks.

Let’s do this together. We’re live. You’re invited. And your brain is ready.